


Alone

by MysticMoonlight_04



Category: Castlevania (Cartoon), 悪魔城ドラキュラ | Castlevania Series
Genre: Angst, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Heartbreak, Introspection, Loneliness, Mental Breakdown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-13 12:04:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21494005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MysticMoonlight_04/pseuds/MysticMoonlight_04
Summary: Alucard is left alone with his thoughts after the defeat of Dracula.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Alone

**Author's Note:**

> This is my take on the end of Season 2. That ending was not okay.

Alucard watched as the wagon continued down the old cobblestone path. Without looking back, Trevor stuck his hand out to wave one last goodbye. The only living people that Alucard somewhat cared about were leaving him to go and live their lives. He stood there for a while, watching the wagon until it disappeared from sight. He knew that Trevor and Sypha would be happy, and that eased his mind a little. Still, he wondered if they would ever return. 

Alucard turned back to go into the castle. He arrived at the massive double doors, and remembered a time long ago when he used to live in this castle with his mother and father—his family. He quickly pushed those thoughts aside, took a deep breath, and stepped inside. The castle took a lot of damage from the fight, as did the Belmont Hold that Trevor had left him, so he decided to start on repairs. It was going to take a lot of time before everything was back in order, and there were no remnants of blood or ash.

As he stepped inside, Alucard looked up to the wide staircase that led to another level of the castle. He walked towards the stairs in silence, his footsteps hardly making any noise on the intricately designed red carpet. When he reached the first platform, he saw something moving out of the corner of his eye. He glanced up and saw Dracula—his father. Alucard was shocked, and he turned to look at him, his fists clenched at his sides. It was then that he realized that he was seeing a ghost. Or was he hallucinating? Alucard wanted to say something—anything—to his father, but no words would escape his lips. The two just stared at each other, as the ghost of Dracula elegantly walked down the steps, running his hand along the wooden railing as he went. Alucard’s eyes never left his father’s apparition, and Dracula’s eyes never left his son. The only thing that severed their eye contact was the fact that Dracula’s ghost faded as quickly as he had appeared, leaving Alucard alone once again. Alucard breathed deeply and wondered why his father’s ghost had just appeared before him. What did it mean?

“Is this how the castle felt to you?” he asked, as he walked slowly up the stairs, holding the railing as his father had. “Before my mother first arrived at your door?”

Of course, he received no response.

Alucard climbed up the shadowy staircase and onto the second floor. He walked down the large hallways of the castle, his footsteps echoing eerily off of the walls. It was too quiet. Too still. 

The dhampir stopped outside of one of the rooms. He had visited the room many times before—recently, in fact. It was his father’s study, where he had confronted Dracula the previous evening, in one last vain attempt to stop the war. 

Alucard stopped in the doorway. The evening sunlight streamed into the room through narrow windows. The broken glass of a distance mirror littered the wooden floor, glittering in the light. The dhampir stepped inside the room and looked around. There were cracks in the walls, and fallen books from the shelves. Something on the floor caught his attention, and he knelt down to pick it up. It was his mother’s portrait. His kind, loving, _innocent_ mother, whose death had started the war in the first place. Alucard picked up the golden frame and gazed at his mother’s smiling face. She was holding a bouquet of white flowers—her favorite. Her long blonde hair cascaded down her shoulders, held back by a ribbon. The dhampir’s heart suddenly felt heavy in his chest. He longed to see his mother again—in person, not through a painting—but he knew that was impossible. Lisa was long gone.

Before his emotions could get out of control, Alucard set the painting down on a shelf. He walked across the room to his father’s chair, which had fallen over in their fight. He picked it up and stood behind it for a moment, holding on to the tall wooden back. His heart beat faster and he began to feel overwhelmed. Alucard sat down on the cushioned seat, and for a second, everything was fine. But then his emotions began to swell, and he slumped forward in his father’s chair. He stared at the floor as he tried to calm himself down, but something caught his senses and he looked out of the open door and into the hallway, with a distressed look on his face.

A form quickly passed by the doorway, and Alucard could hear laughter. It sounded like a child’s laughter, and it was eerily familiar. The form returned to the doorway and peeked inside. It was a child with long pale-blonde hair, held back by a red ribbon. He wore a black jacket with gold accents, and a white long-sleeved shirt underneath. A white jabot was around his neck, with a green jewel in the center. He also wore short gray trousers, white stockings, and black heeled shoes. The child also had piercing golden eyes. Alucard realized that he was staring at himself. Similar to when he had seen his father, he wasn’t sure if he was seeing a ghost, or a hallucination. Why were these apparitions suddenly appearing before him? 

The young dhampir smiled brightly at Alucard. He looked so happy. Back then, there were plenty of reasons to be happy, including a loving family. There were no wars or suffering or bloodshed. There was no death or violence. Just his mother and his father, and that was all that had mattered.

Alucard lifted his head as his younger self waved at him and laughed. That’s when another image appeared before him, and Alucard’s breath hitched. It was his mother. She embraced the young dhampir from behind, and she smiled lovingly as she hugged her precious child. She then let him go, and turned her attention to Alucard. She gave him a kind smile, and Alucard’s eyes widened. Pressure built up in his chest. He never thought that he would be able to see his mother smile at him again, like she used to every day. 

Alucard’s expression fell quickly as his mother ran off. He took a shaky breath, and his left hand began to tremble on the armrest of the chair. He clenched his fist, and he felt a tear land on the top of his hand. The pressure in his chest was too much to handle, and his heart finally broke.

Tears pooled in his eyes and fell freely down his pale cheeks. He stared straight ahead and took deep breaths as he told himself to stop, but he couldn’t stop. The pain in his chest was unbearable. He looked down as tears continued to fall, and he let out a quiet sob. He couldn’t remember the last time he had cried like this. The death of his parents had finally hit him, and it was killing him inside. 

He couldn’t save his mother. He should have been able to, but he couldn’t. So many lives were lost as a result of the war—he couldn’t save them either. He wasn’t even able to convince his father to end the war. Did he even try hard enough? The apparitions were mocking him—presenting to him all of his mistakes. Showing him the life that he used to have, and then taking that memory away, leaving him with nothing but a shattered heart. 

He had killed his own father. What kind of monster did that make him? 

_You ended a war on humankind_, Trevor had said. _Don’t get weepy about it_.

Alucard tried again to stop the tears, as Trevor had said, but he couldn’t. He had no control of his emotions any longer. The stoic mannerism that he had displayed towards his companions was gone. _You’ve saved countless lives_, Sypha’s voice echoed in his mind. Perhaps he had—they all had—but was it enough?

_Was it worth it?_

Alucard was struck by a wave of guilt. He had mercilessly plunged the stake into his father’s heart. The father who had taught him the traits of a vampire, and how to hone his skills. The father who had raised him into the man that he was today. Dracula was Alucard’s last surviving family member, and the dhampir had killed him. He had only himself to blame, and now he was paying the price. 

_What have I done?_

Now Trevor and Sypha didn’t even want anything to do with him. He could see it in their faces, how eager they were to leave this wretched place. This cursed castle, abandoned except for Alucard...but then again, he didn’t really matter. _It’s like he’s a cold spot in the room_, Sypha had said. Yes, the dhampir had certainly heard it. The Speaker’s words only confirmed the fact that he wasn’t wanted. Trevor had only given him the Belmont Hold so that he could go off with Sypha without having to be burdened by it. The hunter despised him. Why would he gift him with his family’s legacy?

All of these thoughts raced through Alucard’s mind. He slumped further into himself and gasped for breath through the endless tears. A dull pain exploded in his chest with every beat of his broken heart—a combination of grief, guilt, regret, and a general unhappiness. The tears fell heavier.

Alucard lifted his hand and clutched his hair as he held up his head. He squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his teeth through the miserable sobs. He was angry at himself. How could he have been so foolish as to think that anybody would want to be around him? He drove away everyone that he met. He was of no importance to Trevor and Sypha. They were probably glad to have finally gotten rid of him. Alucard choked out another sob. He hated the sound. He hated the feeling. He felt so helpless and weak. 

The dhampir brought his other hand up to his face, and he buried his face in his palms as he rested his elbows on his lap. The tears slid down his arms as he wept. His shoulders shook with sobs and his body trembled. He wanted comfort. He _needed_ comfort. But he had nobody. He didn’t deserve peace or solace after what he had done. After failing to save both of his parents. The image of his father’s disintegrating skeleton looming over him would haunt Alucard forever. He should never have killed his father. He should have found another way. 

_There must have been some other way..._

Alucard was broken. He didn’t know what to do anymore. What more did he have to live for? What was the point of living? He knew he wouldn’t be able to bear the weight of the guilt much longer. Perhaps he should go back to sleep...

Alucard continued to sob in his father’s chair, and he saw no sign of the tears stopping. He had to face the truth, but he didn’t want to. He wanted things to go back to the way they were, when he had a mother and a father who _loved him_. He would never feel their love again, and it was all his fault.

The dhampir lowered an arm in defeat as his breathing quieted. He continued to cry in the unnerving silence of the room. He knew that his broken heart would never be repaired. He would never be the same person that he once was. He would never feel joy or happiness again.

He had nobody, and he was alone.


End file.
